Life...

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”

- Helen Keller

I feel like a teenager when it comes to guys.  After my "head over heels in love with Mike post", i've been debating on whether or not I should delete it.  Of course things did not turn out as I had hoped.  Mike actually moved out here and then cheated on me and got caught.  He ended up moving back to Ohio and most of his stuff is still here in Utah at my home.  This happened mid November.  I've felt like such a fool and like such a kid for not seeing things more clearly.  But i've decided to leave my post up to remind me.  It's ok to really like someone and to even fall for them.  I don't want to become one of those bitter women, that hate men.  I am trying my best to learn from the situation and move on.

Its funny... I was at my brothers house a few nights ago and he referred to me as one of the kids.  His wife said that he thinks of me as one of the kids because of my "man" situation.  Because I date a lot and talk with guys and have things happen, like his 18 year old daughter does.  It makes me laugh, but in a way it really sucks because I hate being at this age (37 nearly 38) and feeling like my life has had to start all over.

I have so much to be thankful for though.  I have wonderful amazing children that make me smile everyday.  We have our struggles, but I can't imagine my life without them.  They give my life purpose and meaning and there are days where that is the only thing that keeps me going.

So I have wanted a tattoo for a long time, but im such a chicken and I really hate pain.  I've finally decided to get one though.  My sister, Stephanie and her husband, Cody, have some awesome tattoos.  I went and saw them both get worked on the other day.  They each have quite a large tattoo that is "in process".  I hope I can go through with mine.  My sister says its quite painful and Cody says it doesn't really hurt at all.  I think I would be more like my sister, lol.  Anyway I've looked at tons of tattoos and found a few that I liked and then drew a combination of them, making my own tattoo.  So here is a picture of what I came up with, color and all.  I took it to the tattoo artist and he will probably make a few changes.  Will see what it looks like in the next week or two with changes.  But for now, here is what I came up with.

As October 7th approaches I have so many thoughts and feelings running through my mind and heart.  I have been talking with Michael Quairry since June this year.  We have spent countless hours talking on the phone, he calls me every morning to wish me a good day, we text throughout each day and talk via web cam when he is at home.  William and Jessica talk with him on the phone and love to talk to him on the web cam.  Over the past 4 months Mike has become one of my dearest and closest friends.  I know I can talk to him about anything.  He is the kindest, most thoughtful guy I have ever known.  He sends me an average of 2 cards a week and he sent William a birthday package in August and Jessica one in September.  Mike lives in Girard Ohio and will be coming to Utah on Wednesday, October 7th, to stay with us for 2 weeks.  I feel so strongly for him.  I get butterflies when we talk and when I think about him.  He is so real and down to earth.  We have so much in common its crazy and I love it!  I love him!

A month and a half after we started talking with one another I came home one day to find 2 dozen of the most beautiful Gerber daisies I have ever seen.  He had these flowers delivered to me, because of a conversation we had had the week before.  The conversation was not about men sending women flowers, or of romance or anything of that light.  We were actually talking about decorating different rooms of a house and I was trying to describe a certain color, and decided on a gerber daisy that would show the color I was speaking of.  While speaking of Gerber daisies I mentioned that they were my favorite flower.  These are the flowers that arrived from Mike.  You can't see all 24 but they are there and they were the most beautiful flowers I have ever received.
    
I know we shouldn't compare people, but how does one learn and know what a person is like, what a persons character is, if you do not compare it to others that you have known.  Or in this case, others that I have dated.  This whole journey with Mike has felt like a fairy tale and I keep wondering when I will wake up or when it will end.  Because fairy tales don't happen, at least not to me.........   but what if...  what if it did happen?  What if my story could be one of those that you hear of?  When a man and a woman meet, in person or not, and find that their lives meld together almost perfectly, and when together in person they fall madly in love and live happily ever after.  Is that possible?  I am beginning to think so.  I am hoping that God is not playing some cruel trick on me or that I am not setting myself up to fall harder than I ever have.  But even if I do fall, I have felt more loved and appreciated by Mike than by any other guy.  And at the very least I now know what it feels like and I won't settle for anything less.  So this is where the comparisons come in to play...  I have dated many guys and have seen the red flags, thought to myself that I could settle for something less as long as there were certain "good" things in that relationship.  I turn the other cheek and forgive over and over.  Is it wrong to really want, what I feel I deserve.  And that I want to be able to give to someone that will appreciate it and enjoy it.  This is Mike...  I know he is not perfect, but he is what I have always wanted.  He is the man I thought about when I thought of marriage, of being with someone, having a relationship with.  This person never had a face, but now he does.

ok so....  enough rambling of my thoughts.  October 7th at 9:28am I am going to be picking Mike up at the airport and I can't wait to see him, smile at him , hug him and spend time with him in person.  Life is good!!

So I finally attempted to do extentions in Jessicas hair.  I spent several hours on YouTube watching "how to" videos for different nappy female hair styles.  I finally decided that twists would be an easier one for me to start out with.  It took HOURS, but it will be faster next time.  Jessica loves having the long hair and likes to flip it from side to side.  She is so adorable!

Love my little girl, but wow her hair is a real challenge.  I think the hardest part is that she is so young and just can't stand to sit still and have her hair combed through.  I've finally got down doing the braids with Jessicas hair.  She looks so cute!  I only have to do the braids 2 times a month and it makes it so easy to take care of her hair. Here is Jessica with fresh braids!  Isn't she the cutest?!?!?!

William is doing awesome with his karate.  I am so impressed every time I go and watch him.  He goes 3-4 times a week and is absolutely loving it.  They have been working with long sticks as their weapon for the pas 6 weeks.  He had belt promotion tonight and went from High yellow to low green.  I'm so proud of him!  I definitely wouldn't want to get in a real fight with him.  He can kick like no other!  He is such a handsome kid.

Testing to see if I set up my phone correctly to add to my blog, from my phone...

Its been a crazy month with the weather.  The temperatures have reached the high 60's and then the next day it is raining and snowing.  The snow melts and the grass is green, the blossoms come out on the trees, and I start wearing my flip flops.....   the very next day the grass is white with snow, the blossoms have frozen and my flip flops are still on my feet, but my toes are wet and cold when I go outside.  

This past weekend I decided to take William to The Childrens Discovery Museum at The Gateway. We ended up having a cousin weekend and had others join us. So me and William met Jane, Shine and Amanda in lehi. We all had breakfast and then we left with the two girls and headed to West Valley to pick up Demi and Kensie. When we got to their house, Stephanie (my sister) decided to come with us. So 5 kids and me and Steph headed to the Gateway.             

I was talking with a friend last night about how people just don't show common courteousy like they should.  No one likes to sit around waiting for someone to come by or someone to call, when that person said they would be there or would call you.  Or if your job has you on some type of "on call shift" but then someone KNOWS you will not be called in or something changes and you are not needed for that purpose now.  How hard is it to pick up the phone and call and say "my plans have changed", or "something has come up",  "my kids are sick so i can't make it", or "the patient died, you don't need to be on call", "several patients were released, you won't need to come in at all".  So much time is wasted as we sit around waiting for people or jobs that said one thing but do not follow through with communicating a change when there is one.  This is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Believe me, I know life happens and things come up that are just not in our control.  So if it does....  just pick up a phone and call with a 30 second or less "I'm sorry I can't make it" so that other person isn't waiting around.  Its courteous...  its the nice thing to do.  

DAD & MOM - 2008 (45 years of marriage)

The reason we are all so close and are there for each other, is because of the example we have as parents.  Our parents, Phil and Myrna Randquist, are amazing.  Dad is quiet with a heart of gold willing and wanting to help or do anything he can for his kids.  Mom always listens and generously gives of all she can, especially her time...  watching the grandkids and even helping us kids raise them.  I hate to think of where I would be without Dad and Mom.

Random thoughts.... this weekend the kids were with their dad. I love my children but it is nice to have a break at times. I'm always so glad to see them on Sundays when I pick them up though. This weekend I have had a ton of homework (and I am still not done with it). Had a deadline for doing an assignment on a test for Biology. Stayed up Friday night (actually Saturday morning) until 4:30am working on it. Finally got it emailed to my Biology teacher. Still have math and an outline on a paper for biology lab. As Saturday went by i started feeling worse and worse... and now am sick. I'm pretty sure I have strep throat and an ear infection. I've had strep often enough to know it when I feel it. So today I haven't got anything done and now the kids are back home. My outline isn't due until Tuesday so I can work on that tomorrow.... math... i will just have to try and wake up early and get most of it done.

I really enjoy school at SLCC. I have some classes at the Sandy campus and my Biology and lab are at the campus in Jordan.. off of bangeter and 90th south. I will be done with prereqs and have been trying to decide if I should apply for the Nursing program at SLCC or down at Provo College. Provo cost a TON more... seriously like buying an expensive HUMMER. but I would be able to start the program in Jan 2010. If I do the program at SLCC then I won't be able to start is until after 2012 .... the wait is 3-4 years but they have people drop out and change their majors and such so spots open up. Its a whole lot cheaper though. Say $15,000 apposed to $65,000 at Provo. What to do what to do. I really want to get out there in the field and start providing well for my kids... so we can buy a home and have our own little place and things. But I just don't know. I'm really leaning towards SLCC and I can work a different job the few years I am waiting to get into the Nursing program at SLCC. That will give me a chance to spend more time with my kids for a while as well. I know its been hard on them the last year with the divorce and me going to school. When I come home I have homework every night that takes hours to get done so I don't get to pay attention to them like I want to and like I know they want me to. So I think the break would be good before starting the nursing program which will be two more years of schooling with a whole lot more homework than what i am doing now, plus 12 hour days of clinicals. Life.... :) always something going on. But even with all of this going on, I am still happier than I have been in years.

William is in the 3rd grade and doing really well.  He has good friends and his teacher, Ms. Fitch, is great.  I take William to school every morning and usually get to pick him up a couple of days a week.  Grandma or Grandpa pick him up when I am not able to.  What I would ever do without my parents, I don't know and don't want to find out.  William does want to ride the bus next year though since the stop is just around the corner from our house.  I think it would be good for him too, to get to know some of the other kids that live around us.