Life...

So I have wanted a tattoo for a long time, but im such a chicken and I really hate pain.  I've finally decided to get one though.  My sister, Stephanie and her husband, Cody, have some awesome tattoos.  I went and saw them both get worked on the other day.  They each have quite a large tattoo that is "in process".  I hope I can go through with mine.  My sister says its quite painful and Cody says it doesn't really hurt at all.  I think I would be more like my sister, lol.  Anyway I've looked at tons of tattoos and found a few that I liked and then drew a combination of them, making my own tattoo.  So here is a picture of what I came up with, color and all.  I took it to the tattoo artist and he will probably make a few changes.  Will see what it looks like in the next week or two with changes.  But for now, here is what I came up with.

As October 7th approaches I have so many thoughts and feelings running through my mind and heart.  I have been talking with Michael Quairry since June this year.  We have spent countless hours talking on the phone, he calls me every morning to wish me a good day, we text throughout each day and talk via web cam when he is at home.  William and Jessica talk with him on the phone and love to talk to him on the web cam.  Over the past 4 months Mike has become one of my dearest and closest friends.  I know I can talk to him about anything.  He is the kindest, most thoughtful guy I have ever known.  He sends me an average of 2 cards a week and he sent William a birthday package in August and Jessica one in September.  Mike lives in Girard Ohio and will be coming to Utah on Wednesday, October 7th, to stay with us for 2 weeks.  I feel so strongly for him.  I get butterflies when we talk and when I think about him.  He is so real and down to earth.  We have so much in common its crazy and I love it!  I love him!

A month and a half after we started talking with one another I came home one day to find 2 dozen of the most beautiful Gerber daisies I have ever seen.  He had these flowers delivered to me, because of a conversation we had had the week before.  The conversation was not about men sending women flowers, or of romance or anything of that light.  We were actually talking about decorating different rooms of a house and I was trying to describe a certain color, and decided on a gerber daisy that would show the color I was speaking of.  While speaking of Gerber daisies I mentioned that they were my favorite flower.  These are the flowers that arrived from Mike.  You can't see all 24 but they are there and they were the most beautiful flowers I have ever received.
    
I know we shouldn't compare people, but how does one learn and know what a person is like, what a persons character is, if you do not compare it to others that you have known.  Or in this case, others that I have dated.  This whole journey with Mike has felt like a fairy tale and I keep wondering when I will wake up or when it will end.  Because fairy tales don't happen, at least not to me.........   but what if...  what if it did happen?  What if my story could be one of those that you hear of?  When a man and a woman meet, in person or not, and find that their lives meld together almost perfectly, and when together in person they fall madly in love and live happily ever after.  Is that possible?  I am beginning to think so.  I am hoping that God is not playing some cruel trick on me or that I am not setting myself up to fall harder than I ever have.  But even if I do fall, I have felt more loved and appreciated by Mike than by any other guy.  And at the very least I now know what it feels like and I won't settle for anything less.  So this is where the comparisons come in to play...  I have dated many guys and have seen the red flags, thought to myself that I could settle for something less as long as there were certain "good" things in that relationship.  I turn the other cheek and forgive over and over.  Is it wrong to really want, what I feel I deserve.  And that I want to be able to give to someone that will appreciate it and enjoy it.  This is Mike...  I know he is not perfect, but he is what I have always wanted.  He is the man I thought about when I thought of marriage, of being with someone, having a relationship with.  This person never had a face, but now he does.

ok so....  enough rambling of my thoughts.  October 7th at 9:28am I am going to be picking Mike up at the airport and I can't wait to see him, smile at him , hug him and spend time with him in person.  Life is good!!